pseudo spring

stranded, out of shell
snails that curl and
squish pave my path
to red-streaked, time-
obsessed trains that
splash and blur
my view.

april showers

Spring arrived today!!!

Shy, beautiful spring. It's about time.

as lovers multiply

bewildered mass
i'll contradict
the void that you create
persuasion is a
superman
a counter-act of fate
but what of death
so dark and near
repeated like a song?
the chaos lives
for only love
will miss me when i'm gone

i guess i love
the yours in mine
the keeping of the heart
protection and
security
divide me part by part
the brave retreat
without regret
no battle, field, or cry
you are not one
for all are lost
as lovers multiply

in parts of three
i leave you now
all equal, never whole
the oldest form
is premature
to explain away the soul
how far, how cold
how popular
to dream only to wake?
desert me now
(it's self-involved)
i build, i burn, i stake

out of sorts

self-realization is hard to classify; beauty blurs.

not among strangers

3-22-2008
"Half of my roots lie there - snowy, soggy, uphill, white siding, red cabinets, attic, trunks, radio, books, newspapers, stove, lumpy beds, mold, buttons, strings, lace curtains, doilies, rocking chair, soap. I miss my family tonight but I know I am not among strangers."


I met my great great aunt Lina, who is 95 and lives in Stavanger. We said hello and goodbye in one evening.

Leif, Ingeborg, Signy, Lars, and Elisabeth Topnes. Leif is my grandpa's cousin.

The place that I am named for: Golvdalen. My great great grandfather Lars lived here on the island of Ombo near Stavanger.

can't pronounce

Verdun, Reims, Paris, Toulouse, Barcelona, Valenica. 10 days.

Too much has happened - my journal is the most reliable source:

3-10-2008

"Sunday is a blur - the longest bus ride of my life ended with a dingy hotel in Verdun where I shared a double bed with a girl I barely know. Highlights of the trek from DK to France include the ferry, chocolate eggs, watching Amelie, and having a mental breakdown with Caitlin - flower spritzing and a lot of chatting by the eleventh hour.

Took a nice long soak in the tub in a city I can't pronounce (something in the back of your throat and up your nasal passage, silent "m") R-E-I-M-S."

3-15-2008

PARIS = UNCANNY

"Remember walking to the Sacre Coeur through the crowded narrow streets, up the gradually inclining landscape, past the woman screaming at the man, and up the million jillion stairs to the church. Then, remember my flushed face and beating heart and sweaty palms as I walked around and looked up at the heaven of human architecture. Maybe I even prayed."

3-16-2008

"Luggage. So sick of luggage. The weight of my belongings. Remember the pigeons in the train station - dirty, intrusive, like insects that don't bite. Now it is light and the window is filled with green green green and a cloud-shaped sky. South we go. A flock of train cars and suitcases."

alwayslovemiss

I am intrigued by inverse, opposites, and shadows. I like to think big and abstract. I always consider how easy something would be to paint. On most days, the weather = my mood. I love organizing, rearranging, and de-cluttering. I have a newfound love for green vegetables. Next week at this time, I will be in Paris. For now, this is where I am supposed to be.