The Sky Outside

I am homesick for Denmark today. It is my host sister Amalie's birthday. They have a new dog I've never met. The sky outside my window makes me remember the first day I arrived.

January 20, 2008

What a long, lovely day. Blurred and meaningless time - saw the sun rise as we flew over Sweden - islands of perfect green and perfect blue. First bit of shock was how everything moves slower here - no anxious, rushed faces at the airport, no urgency of time, no busy crowds running blindly in and out of each other. Just - people. The bus ride from the Copenhagen airport was short, but eye-opening to my first glimpse of Danish life. Old brick buildings, lots of graffiti (but not in a tacky way), endless bikes with baskets leaned carelessly along sides of buildings and up against doors, sparse traffic, lots of walking and biking. A low, gray sky.

In case you wanted to brush up on your Danish, here are some survival phrases you might find useful:

Godnat - goodnight

Sov godt - sleep well

Hvad hedder du? What is your name?

Hvor kommer du fra? Where are you from?

Hvordan gar det? How's it going?

Hej hej - goodbye

Hvad koster - How much is...

Jeg elsker du - I love you

I'll Settle For

Hmmm. Just home from work. A lovely evening to bike - sprinklers in nearly every yard, couples out walking dogs, and my hair blowing in the wind.

I am in the mood for a long walk and a park with swings. Instead, I am going to have to settle for a cold drink, my knitting project, and music on shuffle.

Day Off

Sunday is my day off. I can sleep in, eat poorly, take naps, and think about things like this:

*The original Sabrina is far superior to any remake that has or ever will be made. The 1995 version with Harrison Ford has much to be desired.

*I love checking my mail, which I often do on Sunday morning. Most of the time all I have is bank statements or coupons to some sale, but sometimes there is a little yellow slip that says I have a package. 9 time out of 10, it is something I mailed to myself like a book or prints from Snapfish, but it's still thrilling all the same - don't ask me why.

*The "h" key on my keyboard is sticking. Time to go get ready for a day with my lovely ladies.

Brushing with Beer

I already missed a day - 24 hours just isn't enough time.

Today was my Grandma Joy's 79th birthday. We sat in her backyard in Crystal with the family and ate a lovely dinner on a borrowed picnic table. The best story that Grandma told tonight was about her first experience drinking an alcoholic beverage. She didn't start drinking until she was in her mid-thirties when she was on a trip to Russia. The water there was undrinkable so they had to brush their teeth with BEER! Think about that for a second. Minty fresh toothpaste and rinsing with beer. It's a wonder she kept it up. I also brought my knitting project along to show her and discovered that we had picked the exact same yarn and were both knitting a scarf...

Looking forward to a day off tomorrow with my girls and blueberry iced tea at midnight.

Prior Avenue

This morning I decided to go for a different route on my walk/jog (mostly walking). Usually I go down Fairview or take Randolph down to the river, but today I wanted to see what Prior was like. I passed a man sitting in the sidewalk with his young son drawing pictures with various colors of sidewalk chalk; I marveled at the beautiful bricks of Navtivity of Our Lord Catholic Church on the corner of Standford; I smiled when I saw a group of boys drinking blue soda outside the Supermarket on St. Claire; I was impressed by the perfectly kept flowerbeds on various cross streets; and I listened to Oh, Inverted World most of the way - it sets a nice pace.

Now, my feet are up and I am working on a good-bye gift for a friend who is moving to Toronto next week.

My Milky Way

When I was six years old, the burning question on my brain was, Are we trapped here? I posed this question to my mom one day, and she confirmed my worst fears. Apparently my six year old mind was seeking out something beyond planet Earth. For some reason, it was quite a shock for me to discover that humans could only leave earth on a spaceship. It didn’t take long for me to transform my room into a miniature galaxy. All I had to do was ask for the kit for Christmas. Can you imagine my excitement? The Milky Way came in a box, with instructions! Soon I had cleared all my “old” toys out of the way and strung the planets in order from wall to wall. I even put those plastic glow-in-the-dark stars up on my ceiling. At night, I would lay there and count them. It wasn’t impossible to count all the stars in my sky (there were 37 until they started falling off). My 10x12 foot galaxy was a sanctuary. I was a little bummed about the whole gravity issue, but I got over it. I was in space.

The feeling of being trapped somewhere still creates that horrible fluttering sensation somewhere inside my stomach. It feels like a thousand startled birds all deciding to lift off into the sky at the same time.

To this day, I am jealous of anything that has wings.

Which way is North?

My new goal is to write every day. Most of it will probably be a catalogue of ordinary nothingness, but I hope that I will discover something new in it too. There's always something.

I've been thinking a lot lately about my next step. I feel the underlying pressure of "finding a job" since my undergraduate debt is now a thirty year weight on my shoulders. I am not yet convinced that a paycheck and benefits is the landmark of a happy person. A secure one, maybe, but I am curious about the risks. My life has been a series of conventional turns, and I am finally at the point where I feel like I have choices. Possibilities.

Bottom line: I need time. I need time to think about what I want - a paycheck, a job, grad school, a lottery ticket...? Off I go - a step at a time - into uncharted tomorrows.

I never was very good at reading maps.