Balloon List

We've all heard of bucket lists - many of us probably have our own list started. What will we accomplish before we die? What will make us feel adventurous, wild, free, and fulfilled? Of course we all know that it just boils down to accepting our own mortality, and if jumping out of an airplane or sailing around the world makes death easier, then by all means go for it.

I had a conversation with my mother and grandmother this weekend and they came up with the concept of a balloon list. Instead of going the route of "100 Things To Do Before You Die" we were thinking more along the lines of "100 Things You Don't Have To Do Ever Again." My grandmother is in her eighties and there are things that she can't do or simply doesn't WANT to do anymore, like swim in a lake or paint the exterior of the cabin or host coffee parties for the church ladies or attend a book club she doesn't really enjoy anymore.

I feel it's a little

early in my life to

start thinking too much

about a balloon list, because

I haven't lived enough to know

what I can really afford to let

go of yet. I still have several

balloons tied to my wrist

that cause me stress

or anxiety or

sadness.

O

l

l

l

l

l

Someday I will be able to toss my gravity-defying bouqet behind me and never look back. It is a comforting thought.

In the meantime, skydiving is a go for next spring.

claustrophobic

there are clothes on the bed
and you're sleeping next to me,
stretched out like this gray
afternoon lull.
i can cope with this type of weight,
this type of sunless, out-of-season
lapse (as long as it doesn't last too long).

the rooms are overbooked
and everything smells like rain.

I can forgive (almost) anything.

My goal for the past month or so has been to have TWO good days in a row. Maybe my problem is how I classify a "good" day. What is your definition?

Today was good, though. Today was enough. Today, I appreciate the beauty around me and the strange but good things life has given me.

On that note, I am recently obsessed with "So You Think You Can Dance" and Emily Dickinson. I can forgive anything when I have her to come home to and that show to watch twice a week.

rooms and sky

Home from Kabekona...

...and I am full of odds and ends just waiting to be tied up into text.
Here are some thoughts from the weekend:

My grandfather turned 84 today. He fought in WWII from 1944-1946.
The daisy field in front of the cabin is about to bloom.
I tried a pickle on Saturday hoping it would surprise me. GROSS.
I finished knitting my first hat yesterday!
Every ounce of stress in my body seems to disappear when I know there is a lake outside and my family is in the next room. It is quiet, but so good.
I heart Norway pines.
I felt something crawling inside the front of my shirt during church yesterday. I had to get up and leave in the middle of the service because there was a TICK in my bra. A true PK moment.
*pictures to come*

Happiness is

a place to rest your head.

Carved Out

Devotion manifests
like small stones
sliding beneath
the balls of my feet,
smooth and circular.
I know there are limits
as love struggles
to keep its shape,
but you define
the ground and where
we should build
like initals
carved in wood.