Tivoli

Stems, and rays of sun

Pink and white and demon rides

Parks and sparks of time

all tied up

Knots. Now that my brain has been temporarily wired to think about wedding-related things, I have to wonder where the phrase "tying the knot" came from. Rick and I have an account on theknot.com, and that's as close as I've come to making knots part of this process. When I think of knots, I think of double-knotting my tennis shoes when I was little, or securing a rope to anchor our little fishing boat, or un-knotting a piece of jewelery, or the feeling in my stomach when I get nervous. I never thought of marriage as a knot, though. Knots can be untied. Maybe it's just me - maybe I just can't get on board with the knot metaphor.

Or maybe I'm about to discover that some knots are meant to be irreversible.

the walls became the world

rock-a-bye-baby breezes and drumdrumdrum droughts.
earth, heart. branches that reach like impatient fingers.

where are the wild things? i'd like to see them dance.

walls. watch them grow.
when strangers look, all they'll see is stone.

"i'll come back someday"

end mark

this is the first picture i took in denmark. it's at the parliament in copenhagen.

i am grateful for all that has happened and take comfort in the fact
that it will always remain.

(even if i can't show you)

for four

It's been difficult to re-adjust to, well, my life. After leaving it for four months, I stumble back into it - strangely unprepared and suffering from an empty shell sensation. I can't explain what my experience was abroad because everything I've learned and seen and shared is so cumulative and so gradual. A highlight reel would not do it justice. On the outside, I am the same. My family and friends still love me the same. I am newly engaged to a wonderful man who I love so much. But the gap remains and I don't know how to embrace it yet. It's as if I never left and the only one that can vouch for me is...me.
I have hundreds of pictures of faces and buildings and landscapes...there must be a way to connect it. I'll sketch it for you. Ignore the eraser marks, the uneasiness of my lines. I know what I want it to look like. I have a picture in my head.