jaunts and jolts

Aside from the fact that this is the second day in a row I can only hear out of my right ear, life is good. My four hour jaunt to the tea shop today will be a painless little boost to my pocketbook and the free remedy of my favorite little plant always brightens my day.

New favorite activities: swinging at Mattocks Park (in the daylight), listening to the radio and driving - I surprise myself with how much I enjoy driving, and blowing around in the wind without a real address until September. I am off the map, on the road, and high, high in the sky.

Iron & Wine or The Postal Service?

A song for your trouble. Nothing new today.

Such Great Heights

"I am thinking it's a sign
That the freckles in our eyes
Are mirror images and
When we kiss they're perfectly aligned

And I have to speculate
That God himself did make us into
Corresponding shapes like puzzles pieces
From the clay

True, it may seem like a stretch
But it's thoughts like this
That catch my troubled head
When you're away, when I am missing you to death

When you were out there on the road
For several weeks of shows
And when you scan the radio
I hope this song will guide you home

They will see us waving from such great heights
'Come down now,' they'll say
But everything looks perfect from far away
'Come down now,' but we'll stay

I've tried my best to leave
This all on your machine
But the persistent beat
Sounded thin upon listening

That frankly will not fly
You will hear the shrillest highs
And lowest lows with the windows down
When this is guiding you home

They will see us waving from such great heights
'Come down now,' they'll say
But everything looks perfect from far away
'Come down now,' but we'll say..."

Tony B.

New favorite show: Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations. He travels, eats local cuisine, and talks to everyone from world-famous chefs to the guys at the local bar. He's bitter, cynical, and an incredible dork. That, my friends, equals a good hour of television.

Suit and Tie

Rick and I are going to Heimie's Haberdashery this evening to finalize the tie color for the wedding. They have an old fashioned shave parlor and every male accessory you can imagine: hats, belts, shirts, ties, suits, scarves, gloves, shoes, socks, wallets, and bags. Some of the clerks have waxed mustaches and they all wear perfectly tailored suits. It's a fun store!

http://www.heimies.com/

Surrounded By

Chiricahua National Park is an amazing place to hike. Another trip to Arizona is definitely in my future. It keeps me balanced.

The rock spires have eroded from layers of ash that were deposited by a volcano eruption 27 million years ago. It is a little eerie to walk through this minefield - it feels like you are intruding on the ruins of some ancient palace.

The skyline around Tucson - what a beautiful area. I love the dry heat, mountains in every direction, and the incredible sky at night.

Sweet Land

I know I've written about this before, but I think about this film a lot. Crossing an ocean, struggling to live off the land, believing (or not believing) in God, new languages, growing old, and falling in love in Minnesota.

Elizabeth Reaser is spectacular.

maybe this is it.

On second thought, I like the poem this way as well.

I occur after hours
Disturbed by half empty glasses of wine
And food left-over.
The disarray frames my hysteria
About arguments, favorite songs,
Confessions, and professions about love.
In the early morning I hide my face
In the neutral folds of the bed
As if comforted by some illusion -
Some afterthought of what if
It all means what it means.

IT means what IT means.

We occur after hours
Disturbed by half empty glasses of wine
And food left-over.
The disarray frames our hysteria
Of arguments, favorite songs,
Confessions, and professions about love.
In the early morning we hide our faces
In the neutral folds of the bed
As if comforted by some illusion -
Some afterthought of what if
It all means what it means.

One of my professors hated the word it with a passion. It is an empty word. If you are a good writer, you should always replace it with what you really mean - it always refers to something.

I still maintain it serves a purpose, no matter how infuriating or vague.

tgif

Rainy morning on Selby - Em and I walked down to Snelling while we waited for the Antique Mall (aka antiquery) to open. Root beer in a can and the gray hazy threat of rain. We came away with new tins for our tea and are currently enjoying the Travel Channel before work.

Knitting Update

This is my first completed project - the fake tweed yarn was a good choice for my first scarf. It's also the yarn that my very experienced grandmother used to make herself a scarf with matching hat. It is 19 stitches across and took me about a week to complete.

I am making this scarf for Rick to wear with his peacoat (which he hardly ever wears). I learned how to purl for this scarf which definitely took me awhile to get used to. I can't get the knit-purl-knit montra out of my head when I am working on this one, but it is turning out very well. Rick picked out this yarn for himself and even though it looks pretty narrow (26 stitches) it is very stretchy as seen above.

Since one project isn't enough, I recently bought another set of needles (I love the bamboo ones!) and started a very thick, very chunky, very warm scarf with this gray yarn. I am using a seed stitch pattern and this one is only 18 stitches across. I started out with 22 but the needle was just too short for all that yarn, which is aptly named Thick and Quick.

You don't have to yell, we're in a tiny car

I bought a car yesterday!!! Rick and I drove out to Chaska to a tiny, roadside dealership (I don't know if I'd even call it a dealership) to inquire about a '94 Geo Prizm that was listed on CraigsList. There were about ten other cars in this lot and most of them still had junk in them - old mail, a used pair of latex gloves...I kid you not. We found out that the owner of the place buys cars from auctions and fixes them up. At any rate, it drives well enough and the previous owner clearly loved it because it has leather interior. That's a lot of money and a lot of love for a tiny car.

To Move Again

I miss the train. Before Europe, I was an inexperienced commuter. Then I began to rely on public transit - to love it even. The only time I was ever in a car was on the weekend if my host family and I went somewhere for the day. I never missed cars or rush hour or the smell of gas. But I miss the train.

The walk to the train is always laced with anticipation: What if the train is early? Am I walking fast enough? If I miss it, how long before the next train comes? All of these questions disappear when I finally reach the platform, secure that I have made it on time. I almost always consider whether or not I should walk down to the end of the platform or just stay put. It is always a relief when the train finally comes into view and screeches across the tracks - my irrational fear that it will forget to stop inevitably in bloom. As it approaches, the brakes squeal and I only have an allotted amount of time to decide which door to enter. I try not to sit down again before the train begins to move again.

I like the jolt, the moment of switching from something static to something fluid - there is comfort in the movement, the sending off.

Books and Shoes

First order of business, if you haven't read this book, READ IT. It's wonderful and amazing and thank you to my roommates for suggesting it to me. Now, I am working my way through Tar Baby by Toni Morrison.

So far so good - yesterday was delightfully relaxing. Wandered around Highland Fest, watched a friend fly a nylon owl kite up and down Pinehurst, ate the best Oreo ice cream cone from White Rock, and had a knitting party on the lawn by Dew Drop. Oh, and ordered late night pizza :)

Today, I am on a mission to find some apple red flats or kitten heels for a wedding I am in at the beginning of August. The bride's dress has traditional Macedonian colors in the waist, and red is one of them. It's going to be lovely!

Minimal and Relatively Solitary

Dear Neglected Blog,

I blame Highland Fest for my lapse in writing. Crowds of people and I do not always mix, and I am exhausted. However, people-watching is a fun activity. I am always amazed at the amount of STUFF people are willing to cart around with them: kids, dogs, wagons, strollers, balloons, bikes, food, not to mention all the free stuff that you can accumulate at these kinds of events! The word FREE will never cease to attract the masses and turn normal people into monsters.
(I exaggerate)

However, I did get my fill of cheese curds and hope to walk through the art fair tomorrow afternoon while enjoying mini donuts and a corn dog. Tonight Riverview is showing The Princess Bride and as of RIGHT NOW I am going to enjoy minimal, relatively solitary activities like sleeping, reading, movie-watching, and knitting until Tuesday.

Transport

I don't have much time or inspiration to write anything new today. It seems that looking back is the only way to move forward.

March 28, 2008

Ferry ride to Germany - pasta salad, smoking party, X-Factor finale. Standing on the deck of the ferry with Michael. Ships being built. Missing home so so much but feeling content - happy even. Seven weeks left. Thinking about the internship, TeaSource, next year with Emily, getting engaged to my Rick, hugging my family. Heading to Hitler's home. East and West. Walls. Germany. Germ. Any. Many. Almost finished with Lolita. I am enraptured, inspired.

I can see my reflection in the night window of the car - GPS leading the way.

Fun in a Bag

Cutting it close tonight - I have 21 minutes before the day comes to an end.

I learned a new stitch for my next scarf (knit-purl-knit) so I have spent the past hour trying to master it. I think I am finally getting the hang of it.

Craziest part of today: I withdrew $1,500 in cash from my checking account for the car I am most likely going to buy. I watched the teller count out the bills and slip them into an envelope - seriously, that's a lot of money. I never carry cash, much less a CAR around with me in my purse. It made me feel self-conscious all day. I look forward to exchanging it (hopefully) for my little red Geo Metro.

Also, if you've never heard of the "Fun Bag" from Walgreen's, go get one! It is an assortment of fudge, double crisp, and peanut butter cups: that's what I call a big bag of fun.

The Sky Outside

I am homesick for Denmark today. It is my host sister Amalie's birthday. They have a new dog I've never met. The sky outside my window makes me remember the first day I arrived.

January 20, 2008

What a long, lovely day. Blurred and meaningless time - saw the sun rise as we flew over Sweden - islands of perfect green and perfect blue. First bit of shock was how everything moves slower here - no anxious, rushed faces at the airport, no urgency of time, no busy crowds running blindly in and out of each other. Just - people. The bus ride from the Copenhagen airport was short, but eye-opening to my first glimpse of Danish life. Old brick buildings, lots of graffiti (but not in a tacky way), endless bikes with baskets leaned carelessly along sides of buildings and up against doors, sparse traffic, lots of walking and biking. A low, gray sky.

In case you wanted to brush up on your Danish, here are some survival phrases you might find useful:

Godnat - goodnight

Sov godt - sleep well

Hvad hedder du? What is your name?

Hvor kommer du fra? Where are you from?

Hvordan gar det? How's it going?

Hej hej - goodbye

Hvad koster - How much is...

Jeg elsker du - I love you

I'll Settle For

Hmmm. Just home from work. A lovely evening to bike - sprinklers in nearly every yard, couples out walking dogs, and my hair blowing in the wind.

I am in the mood for a long walk and a park with swings. Instead, I am going to have to settle for a cold drink, my knitting project, and music on shuffle.

Day Off

Sunday is my day off. I can sleep in, eat poorly, take naps, and think about things like this:

*The original Sabrina is far superior to any remake that has or ever will be made. The 1995 version with Harrison Ford has much to be desired.

*I love checking my mail, which I often do on Sunday morning. Most of the time all I have is bank statements or coupons to some sale, but sometimes there is a little yellow slip that says I have a package. 9 time out of 10, it is something I mailed to myself like a book or prints from Snapfish, but it's still thrilling all the same - don't ask me why.

*The "h" key on my keyboard is sticking. Time to go get ready for a day with my lovely ladies.

Brushing with Beer

I already missed a day - 24 hours just isn't enough time.

Today was my Grandma Joy's 79th birthday. We sat in her backyard in Crystal with the family and ate a lovely dinner on a borrowed picnic table. The best story that Grandma told tonight was about her first experience drinking an alcoholic beverage. She didn't start drinking until she was in her mid-thirties when she was on a trip to Russia. The water there was undrinkable so they had to brush their teeth with BEER! Think about that for a second. Minty fresh toothpaste and rinsing with beer. It's a wonder she kept it up. I also brought my knitting project along to show her and discovered that we had picked the exact same yarn and were both knitting a scarf...

Looking forward to a day off tomorrow with my girls and blueberry iced tea at midnight.

Prior Avenue

This morning I decided to go for a different route on my walk/jog (mostly walking). Usually I go down Fairview or take Randolph down to the river, but today I wanted to see what Prior was like. I passed a man sitting in the sidewalk with his young son drawing pictures with various colors of sidewalk chalk; I marveled at the beautiful bricks of Navtivity of Our Lord Catholic Church on the corner of Standford; I smiled when I saw a group of boys drinking blue soda outside the Supermarket on St. Claire; I was impressed by the perfectly kept flowerbeds on various cross streets; and I listened to Oh, Inverted World most of the way - it sets a nice pace.

Now, my feet are up and I am working on a good-bye gift for a friend who is moving to Toronto next week.

My Milky Way

When I was six years old, the burning question on my brain was, Are we trapped here? I posed this question to my mom one day, and she confirmed my worst fears. Apparently my six year old mind was seeking out something beyond planet Earth. For some reason, it was quite a shock for me to discover that humans could only leave earth on a spaceship. It didn’t take long for me to transform my room into a miniature galaxy. All I had to do was ask for the kit for Christmas. Can you imagine my excitement? The Milky Way came in a box, with instructions! Soon I had cleared all my “old” toys out of the way and strung the planets in order from wall to wall. I even put those plastic glow-in-the-dark stars up on my ceiling. At night, I would lay there and count them. It wasn’t impossible to count all the stars in my sky (there were 37 until they started falling off). My 10x12 foot galaxy was a sanctuary. I was a little bummed about the whole gravity issue, but I got over it. I was in space.

The feeling of being trapped somewhere still creates that horrible fluttering sensation somewhere inside my stomach. It feels like a thousand startled birds all deciding to lift off into the sky at the same time.

To this day, I am jealous of anything that has wings.

Which way is North?

My new goal is to write every day. Most of it will probably be a catalogue of ordinary nothingness, but I hope that I will discover something new in it too. There's always something.

I've been thinking a lot lately about my next step. I feel the underlying pressure of "finding a job" since my undergraduate debt is now a thirty year weight on my shoulders. I am not yet convinced that a paycheck and benefits is the landmark of a happy person. A secure one, maybe, but I am curious about the risks. My life has been a series of conventional turns, and I am finally at the point where I feel like I have choices. Possibilities.

Bottom line: I need time. I need time to think about what I want - a paycheck, a job, grad school, a lottery ticket...? Off I go - a step at a time - into uncharted tomorrows.

I never was very good at reading maps.